Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You were trust falling into bushes
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
