Non-Jews are for practice
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
