There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
