Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
