I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize