I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
