Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize