idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
