return my video game
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize