It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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