If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
