He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
