Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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