Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
