he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
