please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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