I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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