he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize