i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The adults are the big ones right?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
