So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We left the knife in your bed.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
