omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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