Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
