PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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