My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
