Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize