News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
