Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
