Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
