is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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