i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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