I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
