I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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