I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
