hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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