but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
