Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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