just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
