We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
