bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
