Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
