absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
