planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
