Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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