that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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