I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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