this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize