I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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