dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
