so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
