My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
