Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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