i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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