You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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