i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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