I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
