And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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