Three words: puerto rican gang bang
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
