ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
