Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
