she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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