I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
