People in love make me want to vomit
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
