I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize